Perfect For Me
                                                By D. H. Starr


Sean Sullivan is a principal and a happy person, but he has one major complication.HIV. Frustrated with constant rejection, Sean decides to stop dating negative men. When a student experiences a crisis and Sean meets Emery Benton, the case worker assigned from Child Protective Services, his decision is challenged.

Sparks fly the moment they meet, but Emery is negative and Sean doesn't want the pain of another disappointment. As he struggles with his feelings for Emery, a war between the fear in his head and the fire in his heart force him to answer one simple question. Is this the perfect man for me?


The music from the jukebox was currently playing a remix of Don't Stop Believin', one of Sean's favorite songs from his youth. His pleasure must have shown based on the smile which crept across his date's perfectly sculpted face. Cheekbones rose to impossible heights as plump lips curved upwards, revealing gleaming white teeth. "You like this song, don't you?"

Nodding his head to the beat, Sean couldn't help the flood of memories from a time when his life had been far simpler. "I do. How could you tell?"

Jerry edged closer to Sean, placing his hand on the wall the two were leaning against. The fresh scent of his favorite cologne, Banana Republic's Classic, filled Sean's nose, sending his mood skyward. "It's pretty obvious." Jerry's mouth pulled into a seductive grin. "When the song came on it was the first time I saw that incredibly sexy dimple." Jerry leaned in and kissed Sean's cheek, presumably where the dimple was located. "Everything about you is sexy."

A simple "Thank you" was all Sean could manage as heat radiated from his core straight to his cheek where Jerry had just kissed him. He took a moment to thank his maker for the dim lighting in the bar, hiding what had to be fully flushed cheeks, then appraised the man standing before him. Not quite as tall as Sean's six-foot-two, the man was nothing to laugh at. He had to be at least six feet, broad at the shoulders, trim at the waist. He wore casual, loose-fitting clothes, igniting Sean's curiosity about the treasures hidden beneath. "You're not so bad yourself."

Jerry dismissed Sean's comment with a wave of his hand. "Please. Next to you, I'm an average Joe. Look at you. Your shoulders and arms are practically ripping the fabric of your shirt." As if to prove a point, Jerry slipped a finger under the rim of Sean's white T-shirt sleeve, fondling the swollen bicep. Sean couldn't help but smile noticing he had to work his finger under the fabric. Big fingers. That's promising.

"And white is definitely your color. I'd kill to have that creamy, unblemished skin of yours." Slinking closer, Jerry removed his hand from Sean's arm and placed both on Sean's chest. He leaned in, breath sweet with a hint of lime--most likely due to the fruit Jerry had placed in his Corona. In the softest of whispers, he answered. "And each time you lift your arm of bend over to pick something up, I get a glimpse of your waist." Jerry slinked a bit closer. "You're going commando. Is that usual or something special for tonight?"

It took a moment for the question to fully register, but when it did, electricity prickled along Sean's skin and down his spine, travelling at lightning speed to his cock. While his member came to life, trying to introduce itself to a new friend, Sean shifted back and forth on his feet, unsure how to respond. "Um...I..."

Jerry's head tilted back as he emitted a chuckle. "I embarrassed you. That's awesome."

The heat which had rushed to Sean's face intensified as he tried to determine whether being embarrassed was awesome good or awesome bad. So far, all of Jerry's signals were indicating it was awesome good. Let's go with that. "Okay, so you figured out one of my secrets. I go commando."

The smile from Jerry's face lingered, then faded slowly, replaced by a far more serious expression. As if in slow motion, Jerry drew closer to Sean, mouth parting ever so slightly. Drawn by an unspoken demand, Sean leaned in, his lips pressing into the full softness of Jerry's.
The kiss was enhanced by the soothing feel of Jerry's fingers brushing through the hair at the back of Sean's scalp, drawing him in closer.

Opening to Jerry's demanding mouth, Sean allowed the fresh tastes to enter and fill him. Clean, with a slight hint of Corona, Jerry tasted better than the dinner Sean had eaten. The soft lips did little to buffer the ferocity of need as Jerry's tongue laved Sean's, tumbling in circles.

Sean dropped his hands to Jerry's waist and drew the beautiful man nearer, reveling in the feel of the hard length of Jerry's cock pressing against his own straining member. The rest of the world melted away, the music, the chatter and laughter of the people at the bar, the lights. Only he and Jerry existed, connected in a kiss filled with the promise of something more; something great.

When Jerry retreated from the kiss, the world caught up to Sean in an instant, disorienting him. Jerry's voice grounded him. "Whoa. You're one hell of a kisser." The words only fueled Sean's desire to touch him again. Leaning in, he stole a few more kisses, tamer, gentler ones, but wet and intoxicating.

"Yeah." Sean shook his head to clear the fuzziness. "Kissing is my favorite thing to do."

A curious brow lifted seductively on Jerry's face as he assessed Sean. "It's your favorite thing to do?"

He was about to answer honestly, stating he actually did, in fact, find kissing to be the most intimate experience two people could share. One look at Jerry's lust-filled expression caused Sean to reconsider the wisdom of that decision. Besides, there was a major obstacle he had to hurdle before he shared anything else.

His throat constricted and the pleasant hum of the conversations surrounding them dulled as blood forced its way through capillaries in his ears. Each beat of his heart forced more adrenaline into his system, stimulating the inevitable fight or flight response. The fact he'd promised himself he'd always fight didn't make what needed to be said any easier.

Once his initial terror eased and his eyes were able to focus once again, Sean was confronted with the same expression he'd seen dozens of times before. The plump lips were drawn tight and a slight wrinkle between Jerry's eyes indicated he hadn't missed Sean's pause. "Are you okay? You were a million miles away."

Drawing stale air into his lungs, not even the ironic lyrics of Diana Ross's I'm Coming Out blaring through the bar provided comfort or courage. "I'm fine, but before we take this any further, there's something you should know."

Sweat dampened Sean's palms and he ran them along his shirt to dry them. Swallowing on a mouth which had suddenly run dry, he took a large gulp of the dirty martini he'd been nursing. Staring Jerry directly in his deep brown eyes, Sean steeled himself, hoping for the best but preparing for what usually happened. "I'm HIV positive."

On a mental countdown from five, Sean watched the transformation take place. He could always tell within the first few seconds what kind of reaction to brace himself for. The initial draining of color from Jerry's face was expected, as was the involuntary step back. To his credit, Jerry didn't behave like an ignorant ass, worrying the kiss they'd just shared put him at risk.

At Jerry's first words, Sean knew how the scene would play out. "Oh. I had no idea."

Of course you didn't. We don't wear a membership badge.

"You look so healthy."

Newsflash. I'm probably healthier than you.​​

MLR Press